SG. PANDAN WATERFALL.

The other day, my classmates and I went to Sg. Pandan Waterfall. Just a little recreational outing at the begging of the semester. It was a lot of fun since everyone participated in a way that I am ever so grateful. No one sat out, everyone had their part in all of it and I guess it was a day to remember.

We drove out around 8 in the morning via convoi. It was most probably the best time every since we all just talked and sang our way there. (in my car, atleast). When we arrived, it was pretty much empty since we aimed to go there when it just opened. So not many public residents were there. 

There were stalls and shops that were still setting up their food. Family gathering up their stuff from the car to bring to the waterfall. It was just like a typical outing with the family, only a bunch of university students were gonna crash it and turn it into a family day outing. Whoops. 

So me and Nana waited for Dayah while she had to listen to the games briefing since we needed to send a represenatative. I called my parents to tell them i have safely arrived but the line there isn't that very good. Even for a Celcom users. But I successfully reached my parents and they just told me to be safe. 

Me and Nana ended up just sitting by the bridge and talked. We were wondering what took Dayah soo long but when the bridge was empty we didn't want to miss a chance for a photo op. When we started snapping, someone called my phone. 

It was Dayah.

She was just mad that we were taking pictures without her. Leaving her behind and what not. So me and Nana, giggling our way to Dayah to comfort her. It didn't take long for her to forgive us but it did need a lot of food. haha

Since we were in a somewhat war with Dayah, she literally drenched me with water and hooray, i was one of the first girlst that was covered with water. I wanted to keep it cool and take my time getting into the water. Since the water was very cold and alhamdulilah the weather that day wasn't that hot. The sun was just bright that day. Great for that sunkissed picture! 

Everything was all dandy. Everyone got to play games, have fun and no one died. THANK GOD! 

Here's a few more pictures from that day. There are a few people missing since it was technically a holiday and people wanted to go home. 

But most of us got to make it there and i guess we got a little bit closer by splashing in the water of fish pee. 

This was underneath the waterfall. There are some small fishes that played there but nothing major. Not leeches and what not. 

All in all, it was a lovely day. We had fun, spent time together. Got into a small adventure. Nothing too extreme but still every adventure teaches us  somethings such as, I should really start learning how to climb rocks properly hahaha. 




The facilities there are below average but its sufficient enough to go to the toilet and have a shower before leaving. A place to change and everything. The coconut water there. IS. DELICIOUS. Keropok lekor also available since we bought it for our trip back. You wouldn't be needing floats but they provide some for rental. Its actually not that deep but for kids, i guess so. I'm about 150, and I could still touch the floor. 

Everything is safe there but you gotta take care of each other and watch out for the sharp rocks! 

SHORT CUT.

Like most posts, I know I've been only talking about my feelings and love life. I rarely talk about my experience while studying. I'll try and get that as soon as I can comprehend how I actually study. 

Right now, I just want yguys to enlighten me with a few things. My life has been nothing but great so far. I'm more than thankful, for what i have been blessed with. I can never say that enough. 

But, when you're knocked with that occasional reminder that you shouldn't get too happy, I feel like, what did i do to deserve something like this? Something soo heart-wrenching? 

There are a few things that matter to me, my family, friends and my studies. Preferably in that order. All the worldy things that matter atleast. But if just by being your true self is bothering someone? Is it you who is the problem? Or that person?

Just when you're minding your own business, someone will still be unsatisfied with how you live. How you be happy. How you get the things you want.

Being all those things, isn't as easy as 1 2 3. Everyone knows that and yet people have this thought that I get everything by just letting it fall into my lap. I always take the long route, never the shortcut because i always believe that I am not worthy to take the short cut. 

So if it was you, just someone who's trying to stay true to youself and yet people are offended by it. Who's fault is that? Yours? So you need to change yourself? Or that person? 

A DECADE CHILDHOOD.

I've always been sharing with you all about the downs in my life. The friends that were mean to me. I rarely share the happier parts of my life. And so, here I share to you two people who stayed being my friends for more than a decade now. 

Like any other friendships we did fall out of our friendship but we eventually just laughed it all off. We share updates regarding everything as much as we possibly can. 

this was after finishing high school. 

All three of us were in different high schools. Me being in boarding school, while they were both in different district schools. We still stayed in touch after going through somewhat different lives. I guess with them, I know that people pretty are much going through the same thing. Just in different parts of the country with different casts. 

We've been through breakups, relationships, and just simple scandals together. They've known most of the people who came and left in my life, heck we've known each other since just starting off teen years. 

Each of us different and changing each year. No matter what, I guess I love these girls and I don't see why relationships with boys are so hard to stick like friendships like these. 

I guess you can say we've grown up together. And I don't believe we'll stop being together. EVER. InshaAllah. 

this was after finishing foundation studies 

these are recents, all of us going through degree 

TEA-NANG

The other day, one of my friends replied to my tweet about my love of tea. He summarised how drinking tea for me in one sweet word, 'tenang' or calm. It was cute and nice of him so credits to Yusoff! 

I'm not spilling tea here but I just wanted it to be clear about something that's been happening. You know there comes a time when you're just sick and tired of staying quiet cuz you don't want to be THAT girl but you just have to be THAT girl for the sake of your dignity. 

And so, here I am. Telling you something that you may or may not believe. 

For some reason, I am portrayed as someone who leaves somebody when they are at their worst. Not only me but my friends too. I can't speak for them but I know this much is true, we have never intentionally left someone prior to our knowledge that they are at their worst. 

I have never left someone alone when they are facing something terrible unless they push me away. I get that everyone will face ups and downs, I totally understand them but unless you talk to me about it, how am I supposed to know. I can't read minds people. I only wish. 

We're all humans here, we're unable to know what lies inside your heart so if you say one thing, we'll understand that. I mean, communication is key here. But instead, you say one thing to us and then tell the world something else as though we're the ones at fault. 

I have always tried to be the bigger person and let you paint your own story because I've had enough of people stabbing me behind my back. I didn't want to give any energy towards something so petty. 

But now, with all the pictures she's been drawing. I am here to set things straight. 

If you think that we're fighting about boys or friends, it is totally wrong. If you think that we're fighting because I wasn't there for her, you're wrong. To me, I wasn't even in the fight. She just decided that everyone else couldn't be her friend while they were being my friends. 

I personally didn't mind being "friend-less", I said that to her face. I didn't want people to choose sides. I never did. By the way, she was acting as though people were. When all this was happening, I cried for a week straight because of this but no one, and I mean no one except my trusted best friend knew about this "argument". 

No one even knew what she did to me but the following weeks, she made sure that everyone knew I was the bad guy. Luring in her friends to trust me and only me. So there it is. That's the truth. Ever since I've been trying to fix things with her, but when you know the person so well, you just know how she truly is and you can't really trust them so much after. 

Oh and for the record, I'm not one to "steal boyfriends". We are just friends that talk about problems in our lives. He's kinda a nice person to have and I assure you, everyone can vouch for that. He's just the sweetest guy (sometimes, sometimes he's stupid and stubborn but what guy isn't) 

Recently, I have the least amount of care regarding things she does but she gets to me when she's with Buddy. There is nothing that I can do about being bothered but you know, it just sucks. 

I guess I just needed people to know my side of the story eventually. More details can't be known cuz it is really none of your business. As long as the main thing where we aren't such useless friends as we are being portrayed. We're actually really trying to be the good guy here. 

LETTER TO THE BEACH.

So how does it feel? Satisfying? Does it satisfy you that you are now able to make me feel like this? Probably nearly every other human being knows common decency but not you. No, you disregard everything humanity asks us to do. 

From one human, i've now understood how mistresses or second wife come about in our lifetime. There are humans who think its okay to be close to someone ignoring the fact that either they have a relationship or not. You have taught me that not only some humans are capable of intentionally hurting the people that care for them but you've taught me that you can act as though you're the victim here. 

I understand why you would want to hurt me but how could you do that to someone who has never intentionally hurt you? She would cry each time if she did anything that was remotely hurting your feelings. So what did you think, you wanted to get even? You would rather flirt with the one guy she truly had feelings for than just try to be a good friend. You really stoop this low didn't you. 

If it was just a random occurring event, fine i would have considered you were just friends but why did you even want to go out with him? To show us, you're better than us? You have more friends than us? You have a genuine relationship with the boys than us? You have boys falling at your feet for your every whim? Is that it? Newsflash babe, we don't care. We wouldn't care if you had more friends than us, we weren't even aware that we were in a competition.

How could you use our feelings to get even with us? With the knowledge of who actually we had feelings for, you wouldn't have done what you did. But you did anyways. Even when you knew who we liked and how much we liked him, you still had the heart to flirt with them. Oh wait, thats just how you treat everyone. So i guess thats not flirting for you, thats just how you are. At least you could've not be who you were towards him.

You could've been a friend and stopped being petty. But you just proven to us how much we were right about you. The only thing that you gave us was reassurance at how we are lucky to have gotten rid of you from our lives.

SPEAK UP!

The other day, there was this small issue with my classmates. It was something that was easy to handle but well, lemme tell you. 

There is 48 people in that class. And yet many kept quiet and stood by watching some of them act very childish. Ok sure, you may ask why i didn't do anything. When this happened, i was busy at home, enjoying my free time with my family. Who opens the class whatsapp group when you're at home that much. I personally don't. 

When i did had the time to read everything, i was pretty disappointed with everyone in the class. I thought that someone would actually say something about it. I know who is capable of saying something and those who aren't. And since no one said anything, i simply just took the easy way out. I just changed the topic and be as discretely angry as i could. 

I was particularly disappointed with this one guy. I pretty much look highly of him and with his extra-curiccular activities, i thought he would say something. It was something completely wrong and yet he just tweeted about it. I was so mad that i ignored him for a week ( & counting! ) If someone like him couldn't do something as simple as this, then whats left for us, the small people. 

It just sucked because I expected more from him. I hoped. And thats when you get disappointed, I guess. 

The other thing that I don't get is why my classmates still think theres a 'barrier' where people can't say anything freely. I mean, am i such a bad leader that people can't say what they want anymore. Am i such a bad person to deprive people of their capability of speaking their minds with confident? 

I never wanted a situation like this for my batch. 

I just wish they know they can speak up in class without feeling judged. I just wish they know what every they say, i'll support it or i'll try to understand it. 

AM I THE BAD GUY?

For the past few weeks, I've been having my midterm exams. All the exams are spread out quite evenly which sounds good and all but when you add in the assignments and presentations that come alongside all those stuffs in class, you'll understand when i say, i'm sleep deprived. 

To top it all off, I've been dealing with some 'friend' issues. 

Okay the issue thats been bothering me is that how people can easily make a judgement call based on one side of a story. 

In every story theres always two sides of the story. Both believing that they're right and believing that they're the victim in the situation. You will always perceive yourself as the one who is done wrong, never really the "bad guy". 

Its easier to blame others than except your faults, right?

Maybe you guys won't believe me but somehow my side of the story hasn't been a wide spread amongst my fellow friends because i chose not to let people know. But since then, people have been misjudging me and its getting annoying. 

So I admit I did tell a few people but it somehow spread and now most people know my side of the story. I can't speak for most of them but the ones that I told did have a change in perspective on how they see things about me and the issue in hand. 

Most were understanding and supportive of me. But of course, it seemed like they took sides. Everyday there would be whispers in class. Every small thing i did was interpreted in a new way and resulted in me tiptoeing to do anything in class. 

I couldn't make a weird face expression without people trying to assume things. I couldn't go to the toilet without people assuming things. OK. To be frank, yes I went out of the class because I couldn't take seeing them too close. 

What would you have me do? Simply explode then and there? For me, if i'm angry with a situation, i'd remove myself from that current situation and focus on calming myself down. Thats the patience I have. 

Its better to not let yourself having to endure the pain and fake like you're alright. Thus, I thought I did make a good call on that one. 

Other than that, I guess I just couldn't take the fake-ness of her anymore so there was a few faces that i made. Ok just admit it, if you found out someone was talking bad about you, would you really not get annoyed with that person?

And so, I've discovered a perfect revenge. 

I do absolutely nothing. If with me breathing bothers her, then I'll just breathe the heck out of it. I don't need to do much to annoy her because she's already annoyed with me. 

Trust me guys, I say this with complete faith. 

I. HAVE. NO. IDEA. WHY. SHE'S. MAD. AT. ME. 

and now, i simply don't care. 

So am I still the bad guy here?

For more details regarding this issue, you're welcome to ask me directly. 

MY SMALL PIECE OF JOY.

A few days ago, my batch did a little small gathering. Its like a "annual" thing. Nearly every semester, there will always be a gathering, depending on the budget and what not. Just a time where we could spend time outside of class and just enjoy everyones childish-ness. 

But then again, these are the times when theres tension because everyones stressed out with all the work. The planning. The preparing. The "everything-else-in between". All in all, everything worked out at the end. For some. 

I don't know why, but last week was really rough on me and till this day i'm still not my usual self. And so, I didn't join in a lot of the activities, I just stood on the sidelines. Even if I did join, it was because I was obligated to and set an example because I'm one of the "big people" of some sort. But I really wasn't in the mood to put on a smile all week.

In the end, I spent most of the time taking pictures and it was eye opening. I now understand why Baba likes to take pictures of us while we're not looking which in the end makes us have the most ugly-laughing faces. (You'll never get to see because its burnt into tiny small pixels of dusts! Muahaha)

When I was taking pictures, I got to see the genuine happiness in people's smiles, the genuine excitement in people's laughs, and most importantly, I felt like I was looking into someones personal moments and capturing it for their memories. I don't know but i did feel a slight joy. Maybe I should just sit on the sidelines more.

So heres a few of the pictures I took, also with pictures of me and my friends sharing a laugh. Most of them are girls, because I have the most beautiful classmates. (NO JOKE!) 

I hope everyone liked the pictures I took because I sure had fun taking them. 

THIS IS ALL AN ACT.

I have no idea if this ever happened to anyone. I hope not. But it surprisingly happened to me at the most weirdest moment of my life. 

It was a typical day like any other. Nothing special. I woke up, went to class and I thought that was it. I don't remember why exactly but we had a long break and everyone sprinted to the Kiosk to buy some food. Me, Nana and Dayah didn't buy anything much. We just checked the Kiosk and decided to go back into class. 

On our way, right in the middle of the building, there was a kitten sleeping under the benches. I went up to it and simply just wanted to pet it for a bit but the kitten eventually decided to lay near my foot. (It was adorable. I. CAN'T. BREATHE)

This made me basically knelt down and play with the kitten. The kitten rolled over and was being extra cute. It reminded me of my beautiful cats at home. How they would do the exact same thing making me miss them so much. 

I was so engrossed with the kitten, that i didn't notice Nana and Dayah already reaching class. I told them to go ahead because I was happy with the kitten.

" I won't be long. I promise ", I said. 

" Its okay, we'll wait ", Dayah ensured.

While I was fixated by the cuteness of the kitten, some passerby noticed me on the floor with the kitten. 

" Are you acting? Is this all fake? ", he said. 

I was stunned. Being nice to a kitten is considered acting fake. 

" Haha, no. I have 3 cats at home. I just miss them ", I said hiding my reaction. 

Honestly, I thought he didn't mean it at first. But why would that be the first thing he would say when he saw someone play with a cat? 

Do i literally have to write on my forehead, I'm a genuine cat lover. 

Is it so weird that I actually do show passion or empathy. 

Having a strong personality, doesn't mean I'm don't get hurt with words once in a while.

Whats funny is, if it was any other girl in our class, he wouldn't have said that. He would have praised her. And I have no idea why I'm perceived as the bad guy.

To be frank, it made me rethink about the other guys in my class. How they really think of me. 

Is it all just an act too? 

EVERYTHING BREAKS.

"You're stronger than you think but you sometimes need to break too", she told me while giving me assurance. 

I had a very emotional month. I know I rarely blogged while I was in college. Well I'm sorry. My class schedule this semester is jam packed and I need my sleep. The rest of the time I spend studying or trying to achieve sanity with my friends. 

So heres a sort of simple update of whats been going on. 

I had a severe homesick breakdown. I literally cried to my parents that i wanted to go home but i couldn't because i had obligations. The only natural thing they asked was if there was something wrong. Everything was wrong and I wanted to run away from it all. I wanted to spend time not thinking about college & everything that comes with it. Just a short escape was fine. 

Then, I was pissed because of some people's particular attitude where they talk a big game but when they needed to perform, they freaking depended on other people. OK. I don't mind depending on me sometimes but come one bruh, its just a simple task yet you still ask me to do it. And at the end of the day, you get the credit whilst I'm here like... wtv dude. 

Not even done being pissed with the dude, comes a girl who isn't letting go of old grudges. Okay look, if people act civil, everything would be okay. But to cry in the middle of class just because of something so small, well I don't even know how to react. It made me think if i was really a bad person. What did I do to make someone that traumatised. 

Lastly, I deleted (nearly) all my memories with Patrick. Now whenever I see him, it doesn't bother me. I even dared myself if i see him and a good opportunity, i'll just say Hi since it didn't matter much. 

Ok before you guys think it was damn quick for me to move on. Bare in mind that I liked this guy a year ago. He has been a jerk for quite sometime now and I haven't talked to him in ages. But every time I do, we're either fighting or I don't know how to explain it. I'm not also saying I've completely forgotten my feelings for him, its just replaced by something else. 

Done with the update. 

Now whats the relation with the first two sentences? Throughout all this, all i had were my friends. My friends who always made sure I was okay. Who made sure I was smiling through it all. Who made sure, if i was crying, they'd make sure I had enough tissues. They held an important role in my sanity these past few weeks. I am forever grateful.

NOT BUILT FOR THIS.

( Listen to ' Chasing The Sky - Empire Cast ' while reading ... )



Recently, I freaked out about going back to college. I literally texted some people about how i felt. And then I went on an Instagram story rant about how i wasn't ready. 

Mama of course questioned it during dinner. Then, I started crying. I wasn't scared about the lessons or lecturers or anything. I was scared about what problems that'll come this semester over there. What do I have to overcome this time? 

Being home, although there are problems but I'm still home. The safest place I'll ever be. Where my parents look after me, from afar. They like to be "cool" parents. At the very least, I know they'll be there for me. 

But being far from home. I don't want to bother them with stupid problems from college. Every time I call home, I would just love listening how things are at home. Remembering that i'll be home soon is calming. 

I guess last semester took a big toll on me. Just remembering all the things that I had to face. With a straight face. Because I could NEVER seem weak. Thats just not me. But you'll see how i truly feel on my Twitter. Sometimes. 

Sometimes, I'm just to lazy to even deal with the problem because I'm just too hurt. You know the quote when you hear, she puts on a brave face but cries herself to sleep. 

That was me, half way through semester one. 

I'm not saying that I had it tough last year. But it took a big chunk of my happiness. And I don't see how I could deal with something like that again. 
- I mean, yeah i'll deal with it. I won't give up. But sometimes, I just wish someone would just fight my battles for me. 

I don't need a shoulder to cry on. I have enough friends to form an army. All I want is to not even face it. I just, for once, want a boring semester. I just want a year where people don't betray me. Don't stab me in the back. Don't lie to me. People just being honest to me. 

All I want is to not be disappointed by people, whom I've trusted.

(DING! DING! DING! Yes, I do have trust issues)

No. Not the normal type where its hard to trust people. I just nearly trust the wrong type of people. Nearly all the time.

I'm just not built for this. 

THE FRIEND-EVOLUTION. Pt 2

You'll be needing to read part one first. 

The three of us didn't get the first intake of any boarding school so we went to our neighbourhood school. We didn't mind much because we had each other. Irene and I were in the same class which made me and her much closer. Naomi was in the class next door. We were inseparable. 

Even when we got home we would quickly turn on our MySpace or Facebook to chat with each other. The stupid little gossips we had with each other. The cute senior that said 'Hi'. Just us three. And it was the best. 

Then, me and Naomi got into a government boarding school and left Irene there. Our parents all wanted us to get into boarding school because that was what everyone targeted for they're children, I guess. Plus, we were really rebellious back then. (sorry mama baba!) 

Eventually, Irene got an offer to a private boarding school which she eventually went to. Like I said, we tried to keep in touch by posting on our old blogs or just leaving long messages on Facebook. Hoping that we would all be at home on the same time. 

But when we did.We would spend days just talking about stupid stuff and random thoughts. Literally days. We would Skype or any sort of applications that enabled us to talk to each other 24/7. Gee, those were the days. We would share everything to each other from our cravings to our stupid dreams. They were my best friends. Hands down. 

It was eventually too good to be true. We slowly lost Naomi. Like I said, she changed. In a way. That was left with me and Irene. With Irene, we were more tomboy-ish together. We would do the stupidest things and would just be stupid together. We shared family problems and of course boyfriend problems. She was like a twin. She got who I was and I was honest with her about everything. And she was with me. 

But then....

During high school, I got to know this guy. We only chatted online. Nothing major after a while then we decided to meet.

I know. Stop beating around the bush. He was my boyfriend. Ok. Happy now? 

I had this insane idea where I wanted my friends to be close with my boyfriend and get to know him. Where everyone was close and we could hangout together. Me and Irene even had a group chat where it was the three of us. 

We were real close. We shared most things together. I trusted them with all my heart that they were the people that would always be there and would never hurt me. But to my current knowledge, supposedly, my 'boyfriend' already had feelings for her since then. 

(Thats another story on its own.)

So just a few days before my SPM trials, they decided to let me know that they were an item. 

I could've expected that from the guy but from my best friend since I was 11. Well that just sucked. 

Naturally, I stopped being friends with Irene. I tried to let it pass me. I tried to be okay with the fact she was dating him but the fact that she betrayed me, well thats something I'll never forget. 

Now, I don't think we even acknowledge each other. 

But I will always remember the post she posted years ago. She told me it was our friend-anniversary. She loved our friendship and she hoped we could keep it forever. 

Yeah i did too. 

* We're not done yet. Theres a part three. Wait & see! 

THE FRIEND-EVOLUTION. Pt 1

I was dealing with a few things and my lovely close friend asked why, just by a weird smiley tweet. I was touched by that small gesture.

Yeah I know what you're thinking, its so cliche' for a girl to be touched by a small gesture. Well, i can personally tell you it definitely is important to cherish your friends

So let me tell you why ... 

Disclaimer, no real names are used in this post. But you know who you are.

I have had too many different but terrible ways of losing friends. And what hurts more is I'm the only one who remembers and still cherishes the friendship. 

I've lost a guy friend because I defended his ex-girlfriend, (also my best friend) when he said she cheated on him. Of course I would support her. She was my total 'ride-or-die'. 

But then years passed, I got in touch with the guy, the hardest thing he said was " I was your best friend too yet you still chose her over me "

Speaking of the same girl. We were the three musketeers. I had another close friend. (but we'll get to her later) For now, lets call the first girl Naomi. So, like I said, Naomi was my 'ride-or-die' kind of friend a long time ago. 

Unfortunately, when we started to go to boarding school, it was super hard to keep in touch. But we did try. We would post blog posts about how we were doing and we'll read them when we would get internet connection. But we eventually lost contact because I guess she changed a lot during high school. 

I couldn't blame her. I changed too. We simply didn't have anything in common and so we would just end up talking about boys or primary school. Lost of interest. I guess. But I still read her old blogs just to remember the good old days. 

In reality, I just think she chose Irene (the other friend) instead of me. 

What do I mean? Well you got to read Part Two okay? 

THE 'SLIGHT' APPROVAL.

Basically, today I went out with one of my friend. The outing had two purposes. One was, to let me spend so much on sushi, (I'm a sushi junky for the record!) and also, I wanted to meet her current boyfriend.

She was my classmate but then she decided to study in Egypt to fulfil her dream to be a doctor. We kind of lost contact after she left but thank god for Instagram, we still get to see each others lives miles away. 

About meeting the boyfriend. I have this weird need since I was little, which was to always meet & get to know " The Boyfriend " of all my close friends because i'm super protective. And I'd like to actually want to know whether I should support or just rat him out. 

I met him. He was alright. For those who know me (outside of my house), they know how I am most of the time. I'm a total hyperactive, shameless girl. I literally can be comfortable with people I haven't even met and just chill. 

(I don't know if thats a good thing though. Whoops!) 

But for him to actually be cool with me questioning him and to deal with my constant nagging on why "Girls are better than Boys", he gets a slight approval. 

(Lol, i can't totally let him off the hook. I just met the guy.) 

So I hope he does take care of my dear friend over there and to always put whats right before anything else. 

BYE BYE SWEET VACATION.

I will be registering to my second semester soon and I'm having mixed feelings about this. I'm freaking out! (silently. nobody knows except you guys ofc!) 

I'm already planning on what to bring among my roommates. Like boiler or ironing board & Ridsect ! I honestly had a minor anxiety attack about going back.

Ok, so i'm excited for the next semester. New subjects & new things to learn. (because i'm bored at home not doing anything...) 

AND, I get to see my friends. Having friends who live all over the country is somewhat hard to "meet up", but I guess we see each other too much at university anyways, 3 months maybe enough to make me miss them. (yall know i miss you, i tell you on most days ok) 

But some of my fears are, last semesters aftermath. How to handle some problems everyone seemed to forget or ignored the past holiday? I mean, I can ignore it and move on but it just doesn't seem right. I also can't acknowledge it so much because everyone already moved on and ignored it. So honestly I don't know. (blergh!) 

I am thankful that some friends are very supportive! 

I can't wait to meet some of my friends who just registered! Although I know its not like I get to spend a lot of time with them because other than your classmates, its hard to have people with the same timetable as you. So eventually, I'm stuck with my classmates. (They're not so bad.) 

Although, I'm not looking forward to having the possibility to meet this specific person. But I won't go walking around alone anytime soon, so maybe I'll be safe then to face the problem right? 

Lastly, I can't wait to what stupid problems that will occur THIS semester. I just have this gut feeling that i'll have fun but all this fun always comes with a price.

Sometimes you just gotta face the music, I guess.
(The ones you actually HAVE to face. Others, you can just run the other way screaming!)

A MUST WATCH. FRIENDS (1994).

I was scrolling through the Astro channels and noticed a new channel along the 700ths channels. It was dedicated to Warner Brothers and to my surprise Friends was on! (eeep!) I can't believe it!

When i was little girl (younger than now ofc...pfsht) i used to love watching this sitcom. Its filled with humour and relatable problems in your adult life. It was a bummer that i didn't understand much of it when i was younger but rewatching it nowadays, i get easily amused by it. 


A sitcom like that which involves nearly everything an adult has to overcome is rare to see. The one that i think that came close to it was How I Met Your Mother. About 4 friends. Other TV series that i've watched are about unrealistic rich teenagers that HAVE EVERYTHING or about zombies, psychotic stalkers and vampires. 


Secretly i want to create a sitcom from the Malay perspective but knowing how the mentality of some people regarding "girls & boys being friends" or slightly close and stuff. So, whats the point right? But how else do we try to reach kids in a medium that they actually want to watch. 

School? Nope. Textbooks? FAR FROM IT. Social Media? Well, its already screwed.

So what else right? We all know kids nowadays watch drama like its something of a habit. Why not use that medium and try to change their perspective? Am i right? 

Just make sure its somewhat relatable and educational. Inspiring if not with humour of course.  

A weird random idea i had. Maybe should come true soon.

A PERFECT CONVERSATION.

I just met up with a close friend today for my iftar & like always, i talked so much. With my hand gestures and everything. I knew i was worked up on telling her a simple story. But I was excited that i genuinely have a real conversation with someone, i enjoy talking to.

It really didn't matter what we were talking about. It was mostly everything really. And to basically have a long conversation like that, it was nice. 

Ok not in a "duh it was nice. nothing special". NO. It was nice, in the calm & the feeling of belonging. Which made me realise that there are many types of "perfect" conversations. 

Like the one i just had. A friend, who generally have no relation & suddenly comes into your life but just clicks, you know? So you tell her everything, up to your deepest hardships. But she'll understand it & doesn't judge you but relates to you in ways you thought no one would. 

But there are those when, you talk to a friend you've known for a long time. This friend, well, she already knows everything about you. But everyone changes in due time, so she just keeps learning the new things in your life & the small changes. She already knows how you'll react so she just needs to pay attention to the BIG things. She's your safety net. 

And those conversation with a friend you have feelings for. You're all giddy & nervous but when you talk to each other, it doesn't feel like its going to end. You talk & talk about things in the past. What made you, YOU. The things you learnt. The things you believe in. Your opinions. And those conversations, well, is meaningful when trying to learn about each other. Talking & just wanting to know how that persons doing. Just wanting to know what they're thinking. A conversation of a lifetime. 

There are many more types of conversations and these are my favourites because, it just actually depends on the person you're talking to. The person within the conversation can really change the setting of the company itself. 

So let's try to actually talk to each other. Not dwell on our mobile phones & messages. even when it's easier & faster. the genuine human interaction is depleting & i hope we do something about it. Because, if we stopped talking to each other, we will feel secluded & outcasted. And we all already watched 13 reasons why. So don't make that mistake.