HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, MALAYSIA .

As you all may know, Malaysia's Independence Day is today! MERDEKA! 

Through out my childhood, we were reminded and taught about how we have become a united country and achieved independence. It was interesting and all but I studied it because it was in the syllabus and I had to score an A. 

To listen to the stories and find out things about our country. The soldiers. The people who sacrificed for the sake of our country. It was inspirational.

But I wasted it on the thought that I only needed to learn this for the exams.

My favourite thing about the Independence Day is ultimately the unity we share as fellow citizens of Malaysia. 

So every year when there would always held celebrations for Independence Day, which was prior for every school. They would make the student stand up and sing to all the songs related to the Independence Day. Everyone would sing along and wave the Jalur Gemilang. 

Usually, in between the songs, I would stop singing and enjoy the sound of everyone singing. And just look around. 

Everyone would be smiling and enjoying themselves. 

You can seriously hear nothing but the excitement in everyones voice. And everyone was in one voice. United. 

For that five seconds, you forget about all the problems that was happening around the world ( that is me exaggerating ) but you know what I mean. The whole world becomes silent and you just enjoyed the moment. 

Those little moments when you stop and see the happiness around you. Those are the ones worth fighting for. The people you share it with, they are the ones worth fighting for. 

I'm not literally saying you should go join the army ( but it wouldn't be wrong though.) I'm saying that you should fight for making sure harmony and peace maintains in the world where you live in. 

I will always be proud to be a Malaysian. Wherever I am. I'm always an Anak Jati Malaysia! 

DON'T FALL FOR IT.

A few days ago, I was watching a movie - To The Bone. It was about anorexia nervosa patients or bulimia patients that struggle to eat or stay healthy. While watching I had this urge of wanting to follow how they live.

They all look super fit & thin. Heck, Lily Collins was acting. How was I suppose to not want to be like her?

But somewhere along the way, I realised that I should be comfortable in my own skin. I should but I wasn't. 

Why? I kept asking why. Why don't I look or feel as happy as the girl in the movie? Why don't I feel good about myself? Why do i constantly compare how i look with other people? 

Its not easy to completely shove all the insecurities away. Its not easy to always feel genuinely happy. Why is that? What was I doing wrong?

Then I turned to the internet. 

Turns out, I was still at the beginning of my journey for a healthy lifestyle. I've still got a long way to go. I shouldn't get so worked up on things when I'm still near the starting point. 

Me after a 3 hour workout ! 

Yes. To me, I look totally fat and bloated and not attracting at all. But now, to me, I know eventually I'll look THE BOMB DOT COM. With a lot of patience and effort, I'll get to achieve the body goals I've always wanted. 
Maybe-possibily-fortunately looking like Lily Collins. (I DREAM BIG OK!) 

So here, I'm going to remind you to not fall for it. To not fall for the insecurities. Don't get sucked in on how other people look and how you're not as pretty.

Trust me, if you're not happy with how you look. You can change it. If you're satisfied, I'm more than happy for you. 

I'll let you know you're beautiful everyday. 

Just don't get fall for the stereotypical way of HOW people have a short cut to lose weight by starving yourself or even throwing up. Its not good for you body. 

You'll look worst. 

I believe that it will take time. You'll be swayed but stand your ground. God said to always be patient. 

But heck, we can always just edit all the fat out. Kidding! 

Love yourself enough to take care of YOU! 

THE FRIEND-EVOLUTION. Pt 2

You'll be needing to read part one first. 

The three of us didn't get the first intake of any boarding school so we went to our neighbourhood school. We didn't mind much because we had each other. Irene and I were in the same class which made me and her much closer. Naomi was in the class next door. We were inseparable. 

Even when we got home we would quickly turn on our MySpace or Facebook to chat with each other. The stupid little gossips we had with each other. The cute senior that said 'Hi'. Just us three. And it was the best. 

Then, me and Naomi got into a government boarding school and left Irene there. Our parents all wanted us to get into boarding school because that was what everyone targeted for they're children, I guess. Plus, we were really rebellious back then. (sorry mama baba!) 

Eventually, Irene got an offer to a private boarding school which she eventually went to. Like I said, we tried to keep in touch by posting on our old blogs or just leaving long messages on Facebook. Hoping that we would all be at home on the same time. 

But when we did.We would spend days just talking about stupid stuff and random thoughts. Literally days. We would Skype or any sort of applications that enabled us to talk to each other 24/7. Gee, those were the days. We would share everything to each other from our cravings to our stupid dreams. They were my best friends. Hands down. 

It was eventually too good to be true. We slowly lost Naomi. Like I said, she changed. In a way. That was left with me and Irene. With Irene, we were more tomboy-ish together. We would do the stupidest things and would just be stupid together. We shared family problems and of course boyfriend problems. She was like a twin. She got who I was and I was honest with her about everything. And she was with me. 

But then....

During high school, I got to know this guy. We only chatted online. Nothing major after a while then we decided to meet.

I know. Stop beating around the bush. He was my boyfriend. Ok. Happy now? 

I had this insane idea where I wanted my friends to be close with my boyfriend and get to know him. Where everyone was close and we could hangout together. Me and Irene even had a group chat where it was the three of us. 

We were real close. We shared most things together. I trusted them with all my heart that they were the people that would always be there and would never hurt me. But to my current knowledge, supposedly, my 'boyfriend' already had feelings for her since then. 

(Thats another story on its own.)

So just a few days before my SPM trials, they decided to let me know that they were an item. 

I could've expected that from the guy but from my best friend since I was 11. Well that just sucked. 

Naturally, I stopped being friends with Irene. I tried to let it pass me. I tried to be okay with the fact she was dating him but the fact that she betrayed me, well thats something I'll never forget. 

Now, I don't think we even acknowledge each other. 

But I will always remember the post she posted years ago. She told me it was our friend-anniversary. She loved our friendship and she hoped we could keep it forever. 

Yeah i did too. 

* We're not done yet. Theres a part three. Wait & see! 

THE FRIEND-EVOLUTION. Pt 1

I was dealing with a few things and my lovely close friend asked why, just by a weird smiley tweet. I was touched by that small gesture.

Yeah I know what you're thinking, its so cliche' for a girl to be touched by a small gesture. Well, i can personally tell you it definitely is important to cherish your friends

So let me tell you why ... 

Disclaimer, no real names are used in this post. But you know who you are.

I have had too many different but terrible ways of losing friends. And what hurts more is I'm the only one who remembers and still cherishes the friendship. 

I've lost a guy friend because I defended his ex-girlfriend, (also my best friend) when he said she cheated on him. Of course I would support her. She was my total 'ride-or-die'. 

But then years passed, I got in touch with the guy, the hardest thing he said was " I was your best friend too yet you still chose her over me "

Speaking of the same girl. We were the three musketeers. I had another close friend. (but we'll get to her later) For now, lets call the first girl Naomi. So, like I said, Naomi was my 'ride-or-die' kind of friend a long time ago. 

Unfortunately, when we started to go to boarding school, it was super hard to keep in touch. But we did try. We would post blog posts about how we were doing and we'll read them when we would get internet connection. But we eventually lost contact because I guess she changed a lot during high school. 

I couldn't blame her. I changed too. We simply didn't have anything in common and so we would just end up talking about boys or primary school. Lost of interest. I guess. But I still read her old blogs just to remember the good old days. 

In reality, I just think she chose Irene (the other friend) instead of me. 

What do I mean? Well you got to read Part Two okay? 

THE 'SLIGHT' APPROVAL.

Basically, today I went out with one of my friend. The outing had two purposes. One was, to let me spend so much on sushi, (I'm a sushi junky for the record!) and also, I wanted to meet her current boyfriend.

She was my classmate but then she decided to study in Egypt to fulfil her dream to be a doctor. We kind of lost contact after she left but thank god for Instagram, we still get to see each others lives miles away. 

About meeting the boyfriend. I have this weird need since I was little, which was to always meet & get to know " The Boyfriend " of all my close friends because i'm super protective. And I'd like to actually want to know whether I should support or just rat him out. 

I met him. He was alright. For those who know me (outside of my house), they know how I am most of the time. I'm a total hyperactive, shameless girl. I literally can be comfortable with people I haven't even met and just chill. 

(I don't know if thats a good thing though. Whoops!) 

But for him to actually be cool with me questioning him and to deal with my constant nagging on why "Girls are better than Boys", he gets a slight approval. 

(Lol, i can't totally let him off the hook. I just met the guy.) 

So I hope he does take care of my dear friend over there and to always put whats right before anything else. 

BYE BYE SWEET VACATION.

I will be registering to my second semester soon and I'm having mixed feelings about this. I'm freaking out! (silently. nobody knows except you guys ofc!) 

I'm already planning on what to bring among my roommates. Like boiler or ironing board & Ridsect ! I honestly had a minor anxiety attack about going back.

Ok, so i'm excited for the next semester. New subjects & new things to learn. (because i'm bored at home not doing anything...) 

AND, I get to see my friends. Having friends who live all over the country is somewhat hard to "meet up", but I guess we see each other too much at university anyways, 3 months maybe enough to make me miss them. (yall know i miss you, i tell you on most days ok) 

But some of my fears are, last semesters aftermath. How to handle some problems everyone seemed to forget or ignored the past holiday? I mean, I can ignore it and move on but it just doesn't seem right. I also can't acknowledge it so much because everyone already moved on and ignored it. So honestly I don't know. (blergh!) 

I am thankful that some friends are very supportive! 

I can't wait to meet some of my friends who just registered! Although I know its not like I get to spend a lot of time with them because other than your classmates, its hard to have people with the same timetable as you. So eventually, I'm stuck with my classmates. (They're not so bad.) 

Although, I'm not looking forward to having the possibility to meet this specific person. But I won't go walking around alone anytime soon, so maybe I'll be safe then to face the problem right? 

Lastly, I can't wait to what stupid problems that will occur THIS semester. I just have this gut feeling that i'll have fun but all this fun always comes with a price.

Sometimes you just gotta face the music, I guess.
(The ones you actually HAVE to face. Others, you can just run the other way screaming!)

BE FIT OR BE SICK?

You know when you were little, whatever you ate in what ever proportion didn't really matter because you literally wouldn't gain any weight AT ALL. And then suddenly your metabolism starts to drop & you end up waking up feeling super fat. 

Personally, thats what happened to me. Being able to eat a whole pizza & 3 bars of chocolate without gaining was SUPER FUN & i barely exercised when i was little but i was still small sized considerably. Now, I just feel fat & its a big insecurity of mine. 

Well who wouldn't be insecure. I used to eat a lot & didn't look fat at all. No flabby stomach or anything but then when you get older, everything starts to suck. You tend to start noticing all the difference in your body and it bothers you so much. But you're feeling too down on yourself & just wallow in your despair. 

You start eating a lot of junk food and not caring about your health at all. 

To top it all off, while studying in college, trying to save up on money, you eat those cheap unhealthy things. Saying that as a reason why you're living a very unhealthy lifestyle. With the normal lifestyle where girls don't usually workout at all but they look as thin as twigs. 

So what was the reason why i started to take better care of myself? 

Was it because of a boy? 

(Nope. Lol, boys influence nothing on how i look. Cmon, i go to class as comfortable i want. No intentions to look good for any guy) 

It was me just finally giving up on being mad at myself & not doing anything about it. Just hated how i looked in the mirror every morning. And having a mum who actually forces you to go workout without her, helped a little. I kind of depended on my mum & sister to take me to workout on some days. But nowadays, i actually want to go & sweat all those bad stuff out of my body. 

Knowing it'll be a long process was mainly the problem. But when you start to feel good about how you feel every morning after a work out, its totally worth it.

You just know that your body feels so much better with the workout & healthy eating. Drinking a lot of water helps a lot for both your skin & weight losing.

Just know there is no short cut. (i would know, i'd tried) Have enough of a reason to keep going & keep working out. There will be something good to come out of it. I promise! 

One of the workout sessions with mama & my sister. 

A MUST WATCH. FRIENDS (1994).

I was scrolling through the Astro channels and noticed a new channel along the 700ths channels. It was dedicated to Warner Brothers and to my surprise Friends was on! (eeep!) I can't believe it!

When i was little girl (younger than now ofc...pfsht) i used to love watching this sitcom. Its filled with humour and relatable problems in your adult life. It was a bummer that i didn't understand much of it when i was younger but rewatching it nowadays, i get easily amused by it. 


A sitcom like that which involves nearly everything an adult has to overcome is rare to see. The one that i think that came close to it was How I Met Your Mother. About 4 friends. Other TV series that i've watched are about unrealistic rich teenagers that HAVE EVERYTHING or about zombies, psychotic stalkers and vampires. 


Secretly i want to create a sitcom from the Malay perspective but knowing how the mentality of some people regarding "girls & boys being friends" or slightly close and stuff. So, whats the point right? But how else do we try to reach kids in a medium that they actually want to watch. 

School? Nope. Textbooks? FAR FROM IT. Social Media? Well, its already screwed.

So what else right? We all know kids nowadays watch drama like its something of a habit. Why not use that medium and try to change their perspective? Am i right? 

Just make sure its somewhat relatable and educational. Inspiring if not with humour of course.  

A weird random idea i had. Maybe should come true soon.

BE BRAVE & CHANGE YOUR DECISIONS.

Have you ever thought that maybe you've chosen the wrong career choice? Have you ever thought of doing something else but don't have the guts to start over? 

Why is that? Why are we afraid of taking different choices or changing our minds? 

Who is it that decided that we aren't allowed to ever change our decisions. Being at this age of day, we are able to try different things. And also, there are career paths that weren't available a long time ago. 

Who would have thought being famous on internet can actually generate an income for some people. But its totally not a joke. Its serious stuff. A job is still a job. It only matters if you love it or not. 

I cannot tell you how many times people have been speculative of why i chose biotechnology for my degree. And why i actually keep studying biology whilst its hard for everybody else. 

Haven't you ever thought that maybe you're speculating someone's dream & interests?

Don't do anything that may influence someone to give up their dream because "it's not cool" or "its super hard, do you think you can do it?" type of thinking. 

Support your friends in what they want to do & if they want your advice whether they should change courses or not, tell them to do what they think thats best for them. Follow their interest & talent and with God's will everything will be alright. 

Oh and plus, if they don't get what they want. Tell them to not give up, God has a plan. Maybe later in life you will come across it without even knowing it. Nothing happens without a reason.

So don't give up. Just excel in what you have to achieve what you want. 

MUET EXPERIENCE.

My MUET experience. Well starting with the dreaded speaking test. My speaking test experience wasn't that bad. I made a few friends with the early birds that attended also. Mostly they weren't half bad cuz i guess everyone was as nervous as I was. Just be sure to be prepared with HOW TO ANSWER.

Basically, most of the time i spent studying for MUET was HOW to answer. Like for the speaking test, you're advised to continue speaking & be polite. Just watch some YouTube videos or some blogspot posts. They'll give tips & tricks. All i got to say to you is, try to relax & have fine during the process because its just like a simple conversation.

I can't tell you about the rest of the papers because i haven't gone through them. Personal reasons. But I will tell you if you're having problems for your MUET tests, you can call the general line. They are really helpful & helped me a lot during my situation for the MUET tests.