All my life, I always thought of dating or being in a relationship with guys my age. I never really looked at older guys, I always had the 'Abang' factor. Ok let me break it down for you, the Abang factor is when you're even a year older than me, I have this sense of respect that I wouldn't pass this boundary. I lived in a high school where seniority was a thing and I really didn't think of some seniors as friends, personally, I think of them as a big brother who would look after me. Maybe it was because I don't have a big brother but the thought of just having an older brother to ask for advice and what not, just felt secure.
This all changed when my classmates are actually filled with guys older than me by a year or so. I still try to build a wall by calling them pakcik or something but they act just like any other guy my age so I eventually just forgot and treated them the same. But trust me, the batch above me, I never stepped over THAT boundary. And so, that's where I was open to the idea of being in a relationship with someone older than me.
However, I have never seen myself with anyone younger. They all seem like my little brother so i don't know how that would work out.
All this relates to the extra time I've been having. I watched "Pretty Noone who buys me food" and "Doctor Crush" Korean dramas that open up about age gaps between couples. I know it's not real but it's not like we can actually see how real live couple act around each other. It was a real eye-opener.
In Doctor Crush, the guy was older by around 9 years and he was great at understanding her. He simply just knew what she needed compared to what she wanted. He was a sense of reality and logic that she needed. A relationship like that was really fun to see since they really had an understanding with each and the communication amongst both of them was sublime. It's not that drama where you're at the edge of your seat going "JUST TELL HER ALREADY! FIX IT! THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE MEANS. SHE LOVES YOU LAH! ARE YOU DUMB?!" None of that. The practically just let it all out and they really do love the honesty compared to secrets and lies.
In Pretty Noone Who Buys Me Food, the girl is older but I guess he was what she needed. She was somewhat boring and he just gave her life color. But they both act very mature and have those fun times too. I mean the guy understands her and he is very capable of going her speed.
All in all, it made me realize one thing which I'd like to share with you. Maybe you get an older guy or a younger guy or even the same age. But if it was different ages, it really is nothing to be ashamed of. Do you know how hard it is to find a guy who understands you and to respect you enough to want to save the relationship rather than to give up? Why would you want to risk that just for the sake of avoiding what other people are saying? There shouldn't be an age limit between partners really but living in this Malay community everything is easy to judge than to solve.
Everyone just has their specific person that clicks. So why do we look at the age? It's just an illusion. It's
just a number. If he's more mature and understanding than your classmates, whats wrong with that? Think about it.
