DON'T FALL FOR IT.

A few days ago, I was watching a movie - To The Bone. It was about anorexia nervosa patients or bulimia patients that struggle to eat or stay healthy. While watching I had this urge of wanting to follow how they live.

They all look super fit & thin. Heck, Lily Collins was acting. How was I suppose to not want to be like her?

But somewhere along the way, I realised that I should be comfortable in my own skin. I should but I wasn't. 

Why? I kept asking why. Why don't I look or feel as happy as the girl in the movie? Why don't I feel good about myself? Why do i constantly compare how i look with other people? 

Its not easy to completely shove all the insecurities away. Its not easy to always feel genuinely happy. Why is that? What was I doing wrong?

Then I turned to the internet. 

Turns out, I was still at the beginning of my journey for a healthy lifestyle. I've still got a long way to go. I shouldn't get so worked up on things when I'm still near the starting point. 

Me after a 3 hour workout ! 

Yes. To me, I look totally fat and bloated and not attracting at all. But now, to me, I know eventually I'll look THE BOMB DOT COM. With a lot of patience and effort, I'll get to achieve the body goals I've always wanted. 
Maybe-possibily-fortunately looking like Lily Collins. (I DREAM BIG OK!) 

So here, I'm going to remind you to not fall for it. To not fall for the insecurities. Don't get sucked in on how other people look and how you're not as pretty.

Trust me, if you're not happy with how you look. You can change it. If you're satisfied, I'm more than happy for you. 

I'll let you know you're beautiful everyday. 

Just don't get fall for the stereotypical way of HOW people have a short cut to lose weight by starving yourself or even throwing up. Its not good for you body. 

You'll look worst. 

I believe that it will take time. You'll be swayed but stand your ground. God said to always be patient. 

But heck, we can always just edit all the fat out. Kidding! 

Love yourself enough to take care of YOU! 

BE FIT OR BE SICK?

You know when you were little, whatever you ate in what ever proportion didn't really matter because you literally wouldn't gain any weight AT ALL. And then suddenly your metabolism starts to drop & you end up waking up feeling super fat. 

Personally, thats what happened to me. Being able to eat a whole pizza & 3 bars of chocolate without gaining was SUPER FUN & i barely exercised when i was little but i was still small sized considerably. Now, I just feel fat & its a big insecurity of mine. 

Well who wouldn't be insecure. I used to eat a lot & didn't look fat at all. No flabby stomach or anything but then when you get older, everything starts to suck. You tend to start noticing all the difference in your body and it bothers you so much. But you're feeling too down on yourself & just wallow in your despair. 

You start eating a lot of junk food and not caring about your health at all. 

To top it all off, while studying in college, trying to save up on money, you eat those cheap unhealthy things. Saying that as a reason why you're living a very unhealthy lifestyle. With the normal lifestyle where girls don't usually workout at all but they look as thin as twigs. 

So what was the reason why i started to take better care of myself? 

Was it because of a boy? 

(Nope. Lol, boys influence nothing on how i look. Cmon, i go to class as comfortable i want. No intentions to look good for any guy) 

It was me just finally giving up on being mad at myself & not doing anything about it. Just hated how i looked in the mirror every morning. And having a mum who actually forces you to go workout without her, helped a little. I kind of depended on my mum & sister to take me to workout on some days. But nowadays, i actually want to go & sweat all those bad stuff out of my body. 

Knowing it'll be a long process was mainly the problem. But when you start to feel good about how you feel every morning after a work out, its totally worth it.

You just know that your body feels so much better with the workout & healthy eating. Drinking a lot of water helps a lot for both your skin & weight losing.

Just know there is no short cut. (i would know, i'd tried) Have enough of a reason to keep going & keep working out. There will be something good to come out of it. I promise! 

One of the workout sessions with mama & my sister.