RICH OR NOT.

Last night I was talking to one of my friends. I told her how i didn't want to nor was i allowed to marry a guy who was rich from his family. And now i'll explain in detail why i personally think this is true. 

I prefer being in a relationship where we can talk to each other endlessly. A lifetime long conversation. For me personally, I don't really like boys spending money buying stuffs. I really like it if we get to spend time together. Talking. Meeting. Something like that at the very least. 

Being with a rich guy, doesn't guarantee they will be rich in the future. If they achieve their richness from their own hard work, then that i would applaud but if its merely from your parents, well thats a different story. When kids think its okay to start spending money as if its their when its really their parents' hard work, that makes me kind of annoyed. 

I just really want to find someone with the same determination as me to succeed in life so that we can succeed together whilst going through all the hardship. I think its more satisfying. When we reach the top, we'll be able to appreciate it more. Going through the journey together and achieving what we both want to build a perfect life together. Now thats worth it! 

But for now, i know i myself need to succeed because the lifestyle that my parents has given me, does require a lot of sacrifice and so, the only decision i have to make is to succeed accordingly. 

But it will be my money, meaning i won't ask for the guy to buy me anything because i have my own. I don't think depending on the guy for money is right, thats why i think girls really should work so that they can do and have anything and everything they want without answering to their husbands. 

Being a girl, you have limitations but when you can get what you want on your own then, that makes you a queen! 

So don't get scared of the boundaries, just find the loop hole! 

NOT BUILT FOR THIS.

( Listen to ' Chasing The Sky - Empire Cast ' while reading ... )



Recently, I freaked out about going back to college. I literally texted some people about how i felt. And then I went on an Instagram story rant about how i wasn't ready. 

Mama of course questioned it during dinner. Then, I started crying. I wasn't scared about the lessons or lecturers or anything. I was scared about what problems that'll come this semester over there. What do I have to overcome this time? 

Being home, although there are problems but I'm still home. The safest place I'll ever be. Where my parents look after me, from afar. They like to be "cool" parents. At the very least, I know they'll be there for me. 

But being far from home. I don't want to bother them with stupid problems from college. Every time I call home, I would just love listening how things are at home. Remembering that i'll be home soon is calming. 

I guess last semester took a big toll on me. Just remembering all the things that I had to face. With a straight face. Because I could NEVER seem weak. Thats just not me. But you'll see how i truly feel on my Twitter. Sometimes. 

Sometimes, I'm just to lazy to even deal with the problem because I'm just too hurt. You know the quote when you hear, she puts on a brave face but cries herself to sleep. 

That was me, half way through semester one. 

I'm not saying that I had it tough last year. But it took a big chunk of my happiness. And I don't see how I could deal with something like that again. 
- I mean, yeah i'll deal with it. I won't give up. But sometimes, I just wish someone would just fight my battles for me. 

I don't need a shoulder to cry on. I have enough friends to form an army. All I want is to not even face it. I just, for once, want a boring semester. I just want a year where people don't betray me. Don't stab me in the back. Don't lie to me. People just being honest to me. 

All I want is to not be disappointed by people, whom I've trusted.

(DING! DING! DING! Yes, I do have trust issues)

No. Not the normal type where its hard to trust people. I just nearly trust the wrong type of people. Nearly all the time.

I'm just not built for this. 

CATS CARE.

Since I could remember I have always wanted a pet cat. I loved loved cats. I have no idea why. I used to blame my dad because his family was always the one with the cats.

But my mum didn't want a cat at all when I was small. She said they were a hassle. And I was somehow allergic. Plus I had to convince my sister to agree about keeping a cat. 

My sister is one strong minded person. Its literally no use to debate with her unless ... what am i kidding, you'll lose. So this was a problem because my sister was terrified by cats. (Uh-oh!)

She used to cry whenever we went to our uncle's house which had loads of cats. Naturally, as a supportive sister that I am, all i did was bully her about it. 
(And I still don't get why we used to fight, hehe) 

She eventually agreed to have a cat with a condition that it must be a kitten. She doesn't want a cat thats already big and scary. So, YES! I got the green light. 

But then, I eventually got into boarding school and all hopes of getting a cat was down the drain because my mum said the cat must be my responsibility. 

Until recently, my mum fell in love with one of her friends cat. It was big and lazy. Smells nice. As so she says. So last year for her birthday, we decided to get her a cat. (With her approval of course!) 

We spent the whole day checking out all pet shops near our neighbourhood. It was the BEST DAY! I spent the whole day with cats. But it all came to an end because it was too expensive and I guess we weren't even ready yet to have a cat. We literally didn't have a cage or anything.

I was bummed.

That night my parents said I should just search for cats online. People selling cats online with cheaper price. And I did! I chatted with the person for a while but i had to go back to college. 

On the next weekend, my parents decided to visit the place the sold the cat. They fell in love with TWO kittens. Supposedly, one was too hyper and the other one was chill. My sister liked the chill one. Thus, they bought both! 

They could take the cats the next day and I was super excited. My mum being the sweetest, picked me up from college and brought me along to meet the cats. While at home, my dad was fixing up they're cage. Everyone was excited to invite the cats home.

This is Jack. He used to be named Angel. We thought  he was female. 

You might be wondering where the other kitten is because I said two right? Well, she didn't live long. Just one week with us and she died. It was heartbreaking. Its still sad to see old videos of her. Her name was Rose. 

Jack & Rose - got it from Titanic (1997). 

When I started my degree, my mum thought that Jack needed a friend for him to play with and so, instead of buying just one, she bought another two kittens. 

Amber & Peanut

They're both male by the way. People just keep telling us  the wrong sex so we eventually never changed their names. Yes, Amber is still Amber.

They've now grown so big and I love spending time with them. Its always hard for me to not be able to see them everyday in college. But my parents help out by sending me videos and pictures of them. 

Jack in the car on our way home. 

My whole family treats like all three cats are my children. And I do too. I care for them so much. I can never see them hurt or else I would be balling my eyes out. I know dramatic. But I wasn't joking about my love for cats. 

I don't expect everyone to love cats as much as I do but if you see a stray cat, don't kick them if they're disturbing you. Just have one of your friends that aren't afraid to pick them up and move them somewhere. (Don't forget to wash your hands after). Be respectful of God's creatures.

They can't communicate the same way we do but if you know that they wanted your food, maybe you can share whats left from your meal. You're going to throw it away nonetheless. 

They're not asking for much. They can't find food on they're own. They're starving and they're asking for your leftovers. Nothing much. 

Don't be stingy. They're God's creations too.