Yknow recently I came to the realization that all the things that supposedly showed me that I was falling for a guy, was all made up in my own mind. It was just me thinking of the things that seemed liked the scenes in the drama to be more than what they were.
It was only me. Letting myself feel all these things. Thinking and believing these things.
I was the only one that was feeling all these emotions when everything happened. I was the one delusional to think all the times we talked to each other, there was something when in fact there was literally nothing.
And yet, I'm the one here crying, everynight or spending it sick to my stomach thinking about you.
Maybe everyone around me is getting sick of me talking about the same thing again and again. They may even be tired of listening how often I say i've moved on and 10 seconds later, I'll still mention his name. So I end up keeping it to myself and just cry while watching drama or movies.
But I don't want to feel this pain all alone. I need to explain it. So that I know what to do with it. Untill now, I can't...
It sometimes hurts so much, I can't breathe. You would think i'm exagerating and ofc I would agree because no one really likes to see the weak Ermi.
Guess I'm just sorry how I haven't figured out how to be strong to overcome this...
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